Wednesday Wonderings with a Mechanical Twist

As a replacement for the usual Wednesday Wonderings I thought I would share a little experience I had with my four-wheeled companion. I would say trustworthy- but as of this morning the word trustworthy is no longer applicable.

Be forewarned this is not writing related. And all you savvy automobile oriented ladies out there – I bow down to your skills.

I was late to my day job today cos my stoopid car refused to start AGAIN! I swear it’s so funny now but at the time- as overheated and flustered as I was, the whole incident was seriously unfunny.

I start the car and the engine turns but keeps making this awful clicking sound. A sound that tells me I would soon be texting work and ringing some kind soul to give me a ride in. So I ring DH on mobile. I swear I hear him sighs, but it could be my imagination. He says: open the hood. I say: how?  He responds: pull the lever and open it. What lever forgodsake? I feel around frantically and just when I think I’m going to have to admit the lever is no longer there I find it at last and pop the hood. Can you tell I am a bonnet-popper virgin?

As if that isn’t bad enough I open the bonnet a crack and clearly it won’t open. So DH says: stick your hand in and feel for the lever. The goddamned lever again? Really? This is modern times man! Is it so darned hard for them to place well signaged buttons in convenient places that pop hoods and open them without you having to feel around in the dark? Geez! At last my dextorous fingers find said lever and I get the darned thing opened. Thankfully I am aware of the loaction og the prop thingy that will hold the hood up without it smashing down on my head. You should know by this time my fingers are black with dirt – yuk!

 So DH says take the spanner out of the glove box and knock on the battery (or I’m pretty sure that is what he said- it still makes now sense to me whatsoever but I won’t tell him that). Apparently the plugs are probably loose. Ok speak computer programming and I will understand better. So here I am tapping away at the battery feeling and surely looking like a total monkeys behind. Thankfully most neighbours are at work (if they weren’t someone would have come to my aid surely!- but I still felt the flush of embarrassment. Turn the key in the ignition and nothing except those dreaded clicks that sound like cell doors slamming or something equally dramatic and meaningful.

I mean- I am going to be late for work here people. So close up and head back into the house. My last resort was my only resort- had to call my Dad to take me in. Thanks Dad. This is the second time in 3 wks so I am not impressed. And I still have black stuff under my nails- eeek! So it may be time to send my little car of to car heaven….

This entire experience had made me realise I am a useless modern woman. I could not find that lever darn it. I know how to change a tire- well at least I am pretty sure I learned that… somewhere… I have requested a lesson on car parts – the parts I am unfamiliar with like spark plugs and oil filters. DH is probably sitting smug and satisfied knowing I cannot do anything car related without him.  Yes dear- I do need your mechanic skills – all the time…

Lets hope I can wangle a lesson this weekend. Otherwise I will forget and someday be stranded with no clue how to find the dipstick – OK I do know where that is!!

And for the record I am a writer not a grease-monkey.


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